Forget Muth-R, you need MUSH

So, remember a couple of months ago I wrote a piece about The Minefield of Making Mum Friends?

It struck a chord with so many people, got shared around the world and lots of people got in touch to say how they could relate. I heard from Dads in the same boat and even randoms on Facebook added me saying that they would be my friend.  Thanks guys, really.

I signed off by saying that I was going to launch an (imaginary) app called Muth-r.  Think Tinder or Grindr for Mums.  This too got a positive response with some kind folk wishing me every success with it. Gawd love ’em.

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Then a funny thing happened.

This week I went along to a brilliant Mother’s Meeting event.  It was all about networking and one of the companies that got introduced to the group was Mush.

Now this is where it gets really exciting… because Mush is my imagined app in THE REAL WORLD.

It actually exists and it is thriving. Download it here.

How it works:

 

The two clever brains behind it are ex-advertising MD Sarah Hesz and ex city-broker Katie Massey-Taylor; both from South-West London.

 

Sarah Hesz and Katie Massey-Taylor, developers of the new app Mush.

Sarah Hesz and Katie Massey-Taylor, developers of the new app Mush.

 

They became friends last year, at an admittedly lonely time for them both, when Sarah approached Kate in a rare act of social bravery.

I caught up with Sarah earlier to find out how it all came about.

Why do you think making mum friends is so hard?

It shouldn’t be, but it is.  When you have a small child and you’re knackered it’s hard enough getting out of the house, let alone making conversation with a stranger.  At groups you often know what the kid is called weeks before you find out the mum’s name.

Asking for someone’s number takes courage and or desperation.

I had seen Kate a few times in the playground, she looked normal, we had kids the same age and I needed someone to get through this tough stage with.  I asked her for her number with very little pre-amble and we became great friends.

The funny thing is, we live so close and have Facebook friends in common that it should have been way easier to make an introduction.

So Mush is about making it easier for Mums to connect.

What was the lightbulb moment?

It was a Friday afternoon, we went out for a hectic tea with our four kids at Pizza Express to celebrate that we had kept each other sane through the winter and the births of our second children. At least one bottle of prosecco was involved and the idea was hatched.

How long did it take you from idea to launch?

That initial idea came in March 2015.  We then went through the process of research to see if it existed already; we thought it must do but it didn’t. We talked to people about the idea and they seemed to like it.  We also knew we needed an app which we needed to raise funds for.

We made a really budget website, put 3 posters up around the playgrounds near us saying “Mums of East Sheen, let’s do this together.” And it worked; people signed up for it.  Off the back of that we looked for potential investors.  We secured investment at the start of this year and launched at the end of April.

How did you manage it with the kids?

We had no childcare in the beginning so were pulling in favours all the time.  Once we had some funding we got help so we could dedicate our time properly.  And now it is our job 4-5 days a week but with the flexibility to do nursery drop-offs and park time before tea.

And why the name Mush?

We have a few reasons.  In truth we wanted a word that meant something to mums and mush is something we all know with baby food etc plus we were probably weaning at the time.  It also has other meanings such as face and friend.  Or it could even be Mum’s Social Hub.

Are you both on it and using it?

Absolutlely.  I had a great playdate last week with a woman who, coincidentally, lives on a parallel street.  We had enormous fun puddle-jumping on a rainy afternoon.

What has been the feedback so far?

It has been fantastic.  We have been going for a month and have 11,500 users already.  Mums are making connections and that is extraordinarily satisfying for us.

We have had a lot of positive feedback from the media too:

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There is so much to do now.  Someone asked me the other day if I was going to have any more kids and I said that I have just had a baby. This app is our baby and it is keeping us very busy.

And finally,  what advice would you give someone with an idea they want to get off the ground?

Believe in your idea, people are going to pick it apart: the trick is to stay committed to your vision but open to feedback and advice.

And with that, I have downloaded the app.  It is really easy and pleasing to use; especially choosing the words to describe what you like to do with your kids and in your non-mummy life.   

I feel a bit furtive and nervous as I make a profile and start checking out other mums but it is also quite exciting to have a nose and see who you like the look of.

I have chosen carefully and sent a message to one mum who looks like my mates, I suppose. Plus she has kids the same age and has put similar interests as me.

We’ll see if she feels the same. I  do hope she doesn’t think I’m mushing into things. (Sorry, not sorry.)

Download the free app here.

 

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#MumBossOfTheMonth – Caroline Macleod-Smith of Style Bureau

When my daughter was about 10 months old I started to think about going back to work.

Then I looked in the mirror.

I was wearing a uniform of black maternity leggings, a saggy nursing bra, whatever top didn’t have signs of baby-led weaning splatted on it and massive knickers that would make even Bridget Jones’ eyes water.

I had also just got a new passport photo taken.  I had managed to trowel on a bit of make-up, done my hair and put on a new shirt that I had recently bought.  I thought it was a good day.

When the photo came back I couldn’t believe it. Not only that this photo was set to haunt me on every holiday for the next 10 years but WHAT HAD BECOME OF ME?  I had unwittingly entered my “Amish Teacher” phase.

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I had always been pretty clear on my own style; never that trendy but a love of vintage, spots, stripes, bows, interesting prints and figure hugging dresses. Or a sailor ­crossed with a clown if you want to put a label on it. Suddenly I felt sartorially at sea. My body shape had changed and I had lost confidence in what I liked or what even suited me anymore.

Help came from my fashion-phobic husband. A man who hates shopping so much that he buys everything in navy blue as he knows it will go with everything else that he has in, erm, navy blue.

He bought me a session with Style Bureau to cheer me up. Caroline Macleod-Smith offers personal styling and shopping to men and women, any age and any budget.

We know Caroline through friends and I had gotten to know her over the years at various birthdays, weddings and christenings. She is that girl at events who always looks fantastic; she carries off stylish and on-trend with ease and always gets it right. Plus she is always wearing something that makes you think “Ooooh I like that, I bet it’s really expensive.” And you’ll ask her and she’ll just say a regular high street shop.

She’s not intimidatingly trendy, though, it’s friendly trendy. Trendly?

No wonder, then, that she has carved herself a successful personal shopping and styling business that I got to experience first hand.

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After filling in a detailed questionnaire and setting our budget, Caroline and I hit the shops at Westfield Stratford. Part of the service is that she researches and reserves clothes at the shops you visit, as well as picking up bits you like on the way. It is an absolutely wonderful way to shop as she is doing the hard work for you. You just have to try things on and decide if you want to buy them. Plus you get the advice of a professional who will tell you whether things are suiting you or not and how to style them for different occasions

Caroline is also so nice that it is actually like shopping with your best mate or sister.  Minus the arguments.

Our trip was a huge success and she kitted me out with tops and bottoms and even managed to make me feel good about myself. I was expecting to feel like a turd polished by TopShop so this was no mean feat.

Three years on and I am still using her advice (namely wearing camis under tops for a smoother line), not hiding under shapeless tops and I still LIVE in my TopShop Joni jeans which are skinny with a bit of a higher waist than normal. Something I am thankful for after 2 kids.

Style Bureau is now 5 years old and thriving. I caught up with Caroline to find out how she’s made it such a success.

Where are you right now in your life?

I am currently in a very good place. We have just done the big move out of London to our forever house and I feel that I have managed to strike the right balance between work and family.

I am 5 years into Style Bureau and I’ve built up a good, regular, client base that comes back again and again. When I started I didn’t know how much repeat business I’d get. Some of my clients now don’t shop any other way and do a seasonal shop with me plus ad-hoc bits on top.

Plus up here in Nottinghamshire there are huge new opportunities for me working with spa hotels, corporate work and charity events.

All this as well as my personal shopping, styling parties and regular TV work, so it is a very exciting time.

How have you got to where you are now?

A lot of hard work, determination and self-belief.

When I started out I used to ask myself, “Can I actually do this? Am I doing a good enough job?”

This really drove me to go the extra mile to give the client everything. From the prep for each session, to the follow-up and the time I gave them on the day. I went over and above to really wow them with my service.

From that I would get great feedback; clients saying that the session had been brilliant, that it had made their week and they felt amazing. Making my clients happy gave me confidence and that drove me to keep going. I felt like I really had something of value to offer.

What’s your background?

 I studied fashion at Leeds and then had a career in fashion buying for 10 years.   So I knew I had a skillset and a good eye as well as a commercial experience.

I then did a personal styling course with Chantelle Zinderic to learn the ropes and specifically about marketing and how to charge myself out to clients.

So what was the catalyst?

I was made redundant from Jane Norman in 2011 when I was on maternity leave with my second baby, which wasn’t ideal. I was at home with a 2 year old and a 2 month old and I had always had it in my head that I would start a business when the boys were at school but my husband said to me, “This is the right time, just go for it.”

So I did the course with Chantelle, which was exactly what I needed, and then I just needed to get my name out there.

We were living in Kingston at the time, which had a wealth of potential clients. Lots of new mums going back to work with new body shapes to deal with saying “Can you help me?”

I donated loads of vouchers as prizes or to charities and then literally built it up from scratch. I relied on word of mouth and to this day have never done any advertising. It was tough as only had one day a week childcare for ages. Plus I worked loads of weekends.

Being made redundant is possibly one of the best things that happened to me and was definitely the kick I needed.

I now do personal shopping and styling for 100s of clients, corporate work, fashion shows and TV work.

I really have found my dream job, the mix of fashion and the 1:1 with people.

TV work? Tell us more …

A couple of my team at Jane Norman were also made redundant at the same time and they started working at QVC. One of them passed my details on to the talent manager who recruits guest presenters and I got called in for an audition.

I am now on air 2-4 times a month. It is live and the first time was terrifying but the weird thing is once you get going you’re fine. I have to tell myself that I am just chatting and that makes me feel OK.

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After the first one had gone well it gave me massive confidence and I thought “I can do this.” I felt comfortable and I really love it.

Do you think you could have done all this pre-kids?

Would I? Probably not. I loved my buying job and all the travel. I saw so much of the world that I would never visit normally. When you have kids one of you needs to be around more so I knew I had to create something that would allow that. My priority was being around when they were younger.

What advice would you give someone setting up on their own.

If you love what you do, you will succeed. Your passion and love for it will get you there. People will be inspired and energised by that passion.

Don’t underestimate how good you are.

And crucially, never give up.

I didn’t get the QVC role straight away. After my first audition I was told that the brand itself didn’t think I was the right fit. So I called and called asking about new brands. Lulu Guinness came up.   I did a really good audition but Lulu herself said I didn’t fit the brand as she wanted a mini her.

It was fairly soul destroying but I kept on calling as I knew I could do it.

Then Liz Claibourne NY came up. I was the 17th auditionee and the production manager said to me “Please be amazing.” I got the role.

I could have let that opportunity go but I kept on calling. Getting that role has been brilliant for me in many ways but especially being part of a team as I do work on my own a lot too.

Be really, really brave. And just talk to everyone about your business as leads come from the most random chats. The more exposure you can get for your business, the better.

What has been your greatest challenge so far?

The most challenging was the first Rose Theatre Fashion Show. I had done others but this was managing students in all the roles from hair, make-up, music, models, dressers – the works.

It is a public theatre, paying guests and a team who I didn’t meet until the day. It was a huge learning curve for me. But it was awesome, I have done three more since and now it’s a permanent fixture on the theatre calendar.

I love working with younger people and it has lead to some lecturing and mentoring too.

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What has been your greatest achievement?

Other than getting the QVC role I think it has to be last April, it was an outstanding month for me. I had a variety of personal and corporate jobs as well as working for ITV doing a personal shop for the X factor Final ticket winners. Their head stylist called me up afterwards and said I’d done an amazing job which was just the best feeling.

I was also a finalist in the Kingston Business Excellence Awards for entrepreneur of the year.  I was up against established, hugely successful businesses with huge teams which was the biggest confidence boost ever. I felt pretty proud that night.

How do you make it work with the kids?

The boys are now 7 & 5.

In the early days I had 1 day a week of childcare and I massively relied on friends, neighbours and my amazing Mum who lived 3 hours away and worked herself. I couldn’t have done it without her.

Then when the boys were at nursery I built up to 3 days a week and had my regular clients.

Now both boys are at school I do 3 days of pick-ups and drop-offs and my Mum does the other 2 days. It’s definitely very balanced and I really treasure my time with them when they are back from school and I can really focus on them. It also means I can be involved at the school. I use my commute back from London to do my admin, which means I can switch off my laptop and enjoy my evenings.

What do you want from being a working Mum?

It is important for me to realise my ambitions. It is also important that it runs along side being there for my boys. I am a better mum for them working than not. Sometimes I wish I was completely satisfied by being a stay at home Mum but I worked and studied hard at something I am good at and I make people happy and wouldn’t want to give that up either. I thrive from working and achieving and bringing money in and it gives me self-worth.

Do you miss your old life?

Now and again I long for a proper lie in but apart from that, not at all.

What would you tell your younger self?

That we are in control and we can make things happen. When we are younger we don’t know that and think someone will tell us what to do. Work flipping hard, be determined and you will make it work.

And finally what is your best tip for making it work?

Don’t give up on leads and don’t give yourself a hard time about having time off, it will do you good.

I am currently gearing up to re-entering the fashionable world of advertising and don’t think my new uniform of wonky-boobed-mime-artist-in-skanky-Nikes will cut it (well maybe in some agencies) so I think it’s time for another session with the Style Bureau.

If you think Caroline could help you or someone you know,  get in touch here.

#Mumbag – Number 3

The City Slicker.

The more I look at this, the more I properly LOL… I think it’s because it is the TOTAL opposite of what I thought the owner might have inside her #Mumbag.

Imagine a glamorous redhead with red lipstick, immaculate clothes and a high-flying job in The City.

She has her gorgeous raven-haired babe in her pram and a Longchamp bag casually dangling from the handle.

And then this.

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Owner: Clair

Age: 39

From: London via Liverpool

Children: 18 month old boy

Fact about Clair: She is currently working to build a sustainable talent pipeline of women in technology addressing the fact that only 17% of the tech workforce are females. (Nice one.)

Number of items in bag: I lost count at 60

My top 5 items in her #MumBag:

Sachet of ketchup (You can take the girl out of Liverpool…)
A froggy maraca
A chopped up and expired debit card
3 dummies. Her son ditched them at 5 months. He’s 18 months now.
5 different snacks and a bag of chocolate coins. Definitely not taking any chances or is it the universal mother’s panic of NOT HAVING ENOUGH FOOD for her child?

Can I see inside your #MumBag?